A day of realization

When i was in South Africa, about 2 years ago, volunteering at Ukutula lion center & lodge i learned something very important about traveling. It hit me harder than i would like to admit, but sometimes that happens, and it’s okay. 

I was lying in bed one of the nights when it slapped me in the face, i had been spending the day working with the other volunteers, caring for the Cubs, bundling hay that would serve as roof for the cheetahs, the day had been great! But lying there in bed, i felt sad. That wasn’t unusual for me at the time, back home i had trouble sleeping, i was sad quite often and i struggled with depression. But this was harder, because it wasn’t under the same circumstances. I was abroad, was suppose to have a great time, i was getting heaps of new impressions every day and i was suppose to be enjoying myself, because that’s what people do on when they travel.. right?

WHY DID I STILL FEEL SAD?  Sadly, depression isn’t something you can run from. It doesn’t go on a holiday simply because you do, it doesn’t take a break when you need one and it doesn’t go away just because you leave home.

”Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light” – madeline L’engle

That night was hard. But i got through it, went home, went through some more shit and got through that as well. Battled depression, but Now, a few years later i am lying in a bed very much alike the one i had there, looking back at the faded memories. 

Today i’m free from depression. I’m happier than i’ve ever been, i’m living my life the way i want to live it, abroad.. with my backpack & suitcase. (best of both worlds)

It makes me feel alive.

I think it is important to remember when traveling around, you can’t escape yourself. Your issues, your troubles and your problems will follow where ever you go. You can either let it break you, or build you up. My thoughts go out to those who still, everyday, fight the battle i once fought. I believe in you. But i also want to serve as a reminder that you can escape your demons and start living life to the fullest! Don’t let your mind stop you. 

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